Blame dA. (I envy *you people* who can just frame their emotions into words so much better than I can...)

I've been an ass.

Everyone who has

cared for me,

What have I done in return?

What have I done in return?

Thanked them by making their lives

miserable.

Annoying them,

Ignoring them,

Manipulating them,

Making them Eat

themselves from the inside out

Even the ones I liked, Loved, or Befriended.

All I ever bring is misery, isn't it?

Misery laced with happiness,

but still

Misery.

And then I proceed,

proceed to convince myself

I bring more smiles than tears

More joy than pain

More happiness

then Hate

But do I?

Every time I take a look,

I see frustration,

I see anger,

I see jealousy,

I see lust,

I see One split between two worlds

I see ugly emotions,

ones which i have caused.

This sounds hypocritical.

They tell me it's allright,

That it's okay because we're friends,

But all the same,

I'm doing it.

But...

What matters is now.

Dare I change?

I wonder if she still has my heart.

I wonder if she deserves something like that.

It's like giving ash to an Angel, isn't it?